Stars.

I am again annoyed by the lack of respect for other's histories. This time generally because it seems as though everyone thinks that their "problems" are so much greater than everyone else's. They are not. And if you think that they are, then you don't know other people well enough. And this advice applies to me as well, and therefore I will not pain you with a list of all the things that were frustrating today. Because they are small, they are only events, they are not moments of living.

It's days like today that make me realize how incredibly lucky I am to be at this exact moment in my life with these exact people. Today was horrible and stressful and ominously prophetic of what I can expect for the next month. And another me, a younger me, would have gone and crawled in bed and cried. But this me, the now me, ended up okay. Ended up strangely happy, even. That is due mostly to the people I have, the people I care about. The people who make the endless meetings enjoyable, the people who make me smile with an offhand comment at lunch, the people that bake me cakes when I finish my political movement in Extended Essay form (those last people would be my roommates and they deserve specific naming because of the cake and because they are them).

I am too stressed to have a birthday. My mom told me to suck it up and deal with it, because apparently "adults" are always too stressed to have birthdays. Or they just stop caring about them. But I feel like birthdays demand special thought, special attention to meaning and detail. They require nostalgia and evaluations of years past. Birthdays involve philosophy. And I am just far too stressed to do justice to all of that.

Closure. I've realized what it is this time. It's walking away mid-sentence, closing the door, and not actually opening it again to finish the sentence. It's leaving in the middle but forcing it to be the end. It's not pretty, it's not romantic, it's not novel-worthy. But it is still closure.

On that note, I'll end with song lyrics. They're story-like and good enough to justify reproducing a large piece of them. They feel very central, very important. Enjoy them. Great love in realistic form is always an important thing.

"Juliet, the dice was loaded from the start. You promised me everything, you promised me thick and thin. Now you just say oh, Romeo, yeah I used to have a scene with him. Juliet, when we made love, you used to cry. I said I love you like the stars above, I love you til I die. And there's a place for us, you know the movie song. When you gonna realize it was just that the time was wrong, Juliet? I can't do the talk like the talk on the T.V. And I can't do a love song like the way it's meant to be. I can't do everything, but I'd do anything for you. I can't do anything except be in love with you. And all I do is miss you and the way we used to be. And all I do is keep the beat and the bad company. And all I do is kiss you through the bars of Orion. Juliet, I'd do the stars with you any time."