You know, I don't know what on Earth I am doing with my life. Not a clue. Honestly.

I lost my job. I feel like an old man sitting on my porch with a pipe in my mouth. Sitting around complaining about the economy and how bread was actually affordable when I was younger.

I was given a good amount of money by someone that doesn't even know me. I was at church and they found a way to anonymously give me the money, saying that God told them they should give me the entire contents of their pocket because it was more than money for me, it was hope.

They were right. I am so happy to have my faith. A year ago, without the faith I have now, I was so much emptier, so much more unfulfilled, so much more lost. I can't say I am perfectly happy now because I am not. Times are hard (and that's an understatement). But having that soft pillow of faith to lay my head down on when life gets me down and to have that beacon of hope to give thanks to when life is miraculous...I wouldn't trade that for anything.

Yesterday, after I lost my job, I sat on the Metro with my headphones on, crying my eyes out. Today, I couldn't tell the difference between tears and raindrops on my face. And yet...and yet, I'm sitting here now, listening to ABBA and trying to figure out how to be happy again. I know I'll figure it out.